Alone

 

Alone is delicious.

There’s no one to see.

I can eat these low clouds

and the body of wind

that’s turning them into rolling

tumbleweed, eat with my hands,

get crumbs over everything,

crumbs of clouds on my nose,

in my fingernails, clouds smeared

all over my shirt and my chin,

I can lick the clouds off my fingers

and no one can see or care if

I have as much dessert as I want.

I just reach into those blue

holes that I’ve left and pull out

whole fistfuls of sky, of infinity.

It’s tasteless and so hard

I can chew it for hours.

                (Jonathan Holden)

 

Untitled

 

I'm Nobody!  Who Are You?

Are you--Nobody--too?

Then there's a pair of us!

Don't tell! they'd banish us--you know!

 

How dreary--to be--Somebody!

How Public--like a Frog--

To tell your name--the livelong June--

to an admiring Bog!

                        (Emily Dickinson)

 

Getting Started

 

It isn't that I've forgotten

Or don't intend to do

With my life what I

Know I should,

That is, transcend the petty concerns

And live

In Truth

And in beauty

according to the

Higher aims of my existence.

Yet,

I have trouble

getting started

somehow

And day by day,

Hour by hour,

Wait,

For the spell

to be broken,

And go on,

Life as usual,

minute by minute,

pulse beat

by

pulse beat,

paying bills,

doing the laundry,

going to work,

putting band-aids

on little scraped knees,

watching TV,

Swept along

  and along.

             (Janet Campbell Hale)

 

 

25th High School Reunion

 

We come to hear the endings

of all the stories

in our anthology

of false starts:

how the girl who seemed

as hard as nails

was hammered into shape;

how the athletes ran

out of races;

how under the skin

our skulls rise to the surface

like rocks in the bed

of a drying stream.

Look!  We have all

turned into

ourselves.

                 (Linda Pastan)

 

So?

 

So you aren't Tolstoy or Saint Francis

or even a well-known singer

of popular songs and will never read Greek

or speak French fluently,

will never see something no one else

has seen before through a lens

or with the naked eye.

 

You've been given just the one life

in this world that matters

and upon which every other life

somehow depends as long as you live,

and also given the costly gifts of hunger,

choice, and pain with which to raise

a modest shrine to meaning.

                           (Leonard Nathan)

 

Handicaps

 

With their stares others tell me

what I already know to be the truth;

my features do not conform

to the conventions of beauty or grace

When I hurry across Capital

with its unforgiving light

my feet and arms fail me,

and when I speak

my thoughts, though clear,

are slush as much as ice--

Still I say the difference between us

is only that of form.

You see, I too scan storefront windows

to verify I exist;

I too am stunned by the polluted sunset

like a gash in skyscraper glass;

I too hear the churchbells

ringing in the early orange dusk;

I envy youth its poetry

and its unrelenting lust

 

and my breath, like yours--

warm, humid, and grey--

lifts from deep within my lungs

pauses in the December air

and evaporates

         as we all must

        in our sad anointed time

       in our difference of like, not kind

                               (Bob Henry Baber)

 

The Missing Person

 

He has come to report himself

A missing person.

 

The authorities

Hand him the forms.

 

He knows how they have waited

With the learned patience of barbers

 

In small shops, idle,

Stropping their razors.

 

But now that these spaces in his life

Stare up at him blankly,

 

Waiting to be filled in,

He does not now how to begin.

 

Afraid that he might not answer

To his description of himself,

 

He asks for a mirror.

They reassure him

 

That he can be nowhere

But wherever he finds himself

 

>From moment to moment

Which, for the moment, is here.

 

And he might like to believe them.

But in the mirror

 

He sees what is missing.

It is himself

 

He sees there emerging

Slowly, as from the dark

 

Of a furnished room

Only by darkness,

 

One who receives no mail

And is known to the landlady only

 

For keeping himself to himself,

and for whom it will be years yet

 

Before he can trust to the light

This last disguise, himself.

                             (Donald Justice)

 

Danse Russe

 

If when my wife is sleeping

and the baby and Kathleen

are sleeping

and the sun is a flame-white disk

in silken mists

above shining trees,--

if I in my north room

dance naked, grotesquely

before my mirror

waving my shirt round my head

and singing softly to myself:

"I am lonely, lonely.

I was born to be lonely,

I am best so!"

If I admire my arms, my face,

my shoulders, flanks, buttocks

against the yellow drawn shades,--

 

Who shall say I am not

the happy genius of my household?

                                (William Carlos Williams)

 

Untitled

 

People think I'm so and so

But I am not so and so

People think I am this

But I am that.

             (Margarita Cuadrado, 6th grade)

 

 

(Untitled Behavioral Self-Portrait)

 

My arms are wrapped fast around myself.

I hear my sister breathing loudly down the hall.

The Begonia is living.

Lenore is my friend.

There are cigarettes I hate on the dresser.

The door is wide open.

No one is coming in.

Steve is away, camping alone for four days.

My dog has a tumor.

My mother and father have jobs.

I don't.

I'm middle class in America.

I love my country.

I walk the streets at two a.m. nude.

No, I don't.

My older sister is married.

I will go to college and soon be an adult.

Ducks laugh in the pond at night when no one's there.

My other sister is homosexual.

I can drive a car well.

I love the black sweater in the closet.

My father gave it to me.

I'm seventeen and a spy.

My body is on the chair.

I don't shave my legs.

I am a woman.

It's autumn and cold outside.

Not inside.

My hands are ripe for you.

I cry.

I hate to go to sleep.

I love dessert and the sun going down on the highway overpass.

Kiss me.

           (Amy Smiley, High School Student)

 

Red Light

 

The only thing we know is the thing

we turn out to be, I don't care what

you think, it's true, now you think

your way out of this

                   (Leroi Jones [Imamu Amiri Baraka])

 

Air

 

I am lost in hot fits

of myself

trying

to get

out.  Lost

because

I am kinder

to myself

than I

need

Softer w/ others

than is good

for them.

 

Taller

than

most/

Stronger

What is it

about me

that frightens me

loses

me

tosses me helplessly

in

the air.

 

oh love

Songs

dont leave

w/o me

that you

are the weakness

of my simplicity

 

Are feeling

& want

All need

& romance

I wd do anything

to be loved

& this

is a stupid

mistake.

       (Leroi Jones [Imamu Amiri Baraka])